Archive for November, 2015

The Ghostess’s Book Recommendation!

November 22, 2015

Presenting “It Seemed Like a Good Idea” by Meghan Rowland!
I usually don’t find blog-based books to be all that great, (God knows I don’t think even my own amazing blog would make for a good or even vaguely cohesive book; but if you do, and you’d like to payridiculous sums of money for it, well, the customer is always right, and I aim to please) but I took a chance on this one and am glad I did!
In clever second-person POV vignettes, we learn the potential pitfalls that await us when we make what seem at the time to be perfectly reasonable or at least not unreasonable decisions.
It seems like a good idea to get nostalgic and hitch a ride with a trucker named Carl, hoping to see the USA as the hippie generation saw it …
… until during a needlessly heated game of States and Capitals with Carl, you Stand Your Ground about Anchorage and Carl, in a cold fury, detours thousands of miles out of his way to drop you at the Capitol Building in Juneau to prove his point.
It seemed like a good idea to play mini-golf …
… until you realize that the cute Camelot-themed obstacles at the course are fiendishly difficult, and you throw a fit when your ball lands in a “wishing well” and when you try to retrieve it you overbalance and end up head-downward in the well, much to the delight of the Gonzales family playing behind you, who film your meltdown and share it with your local TV station, so that the entire viewing area can have a good laugh as the anchorman likens you to Baby Jessica all grown up with a potty mouth and a lacy thong.
It seemed like a good idea to travel all around the world …
… till you decide to cool off in northern China by taking a dip in the Yalu River, which gets you picked up by the North Korean authorities and imprisoned, where you eventually adapt to captivity and are allowed to take part in the Portrait Dance for Kim Jong-Un’s visit to the camp; you’re part of the shirt collar.
It seemed like a good idea to get a tattoo during a bachelor party …
… and you pick out a nice one that looks to your beer-fogged eyes like crosshairs, which is nice symbolism, because, like, life has you in its crosshairs, man. But once you post a picture of your new ink on Facebook, everybody starts to hate you, and finally, after being approached and thanked by a shaven-headed guy in the subway station who inexplicably points forcefully at something behind you, you learn that your “crosshairs” design is actually the infamous Odin’s Cross, beloved of skinheads and neo-Nazis far and wide. So you have it removed, and the doctor congratulates you on your courage and puts you in touch with a support group for former hate-group members, and your story is picked up and disseminated, and you are famous! And then a “friend” gets mad at you and spills the beans about how you really came by that dumb tattoo.
And 98 other ideas seemed just fine, until suddenly they aren’t anymore.


Full of Beans

November 18, 2015

Coffee beans, that is. By now, everybody, their brother, their brother’s chiropractor and said chiropractor’s dog’s first cousin once removed by marriage who lives in Cleveland has heard of the Starbucks Conspiracy.
You know, the one that posits that Starbucks hates Jesus and Christmas and that’s why they don’t have Christmas-specific cups this year?
There is no Starbucks near where I live, but that doesn’t stop locals from foaming at the mouth like the head on a cappuccino. They are pitching grande venti hissy fits about it.
What does the Ghoestess have to say about the issue? So glad you asked!
To people who fancy themselves to be People of Faith: if your faith was truly secure, you wouldn’t feel so threatened by someone else’s lack of faith, or their lack of demonstration of that faith. You would not need to have your faith reenforced by the design of throwaway cups at some overpriced cafe. In fact, if you were so reverent about Christmas, you wouldn’t want the sacredness of that holiest of holidays cheapened even more than it already is by yet another billion-dollar corporation.
The Ghostess sez: Anybody who’d routinely pay $5 and up for a cup of coffee with strange flavorings added is just the type to get fixated on the disposable cup it comes in.