Granny Granny, Quite Uncanny, How Does Your Garden Grow?

If you’re Alberta Kelley, the answer is: “It’s growing like a weed!” The 67-year-old Pennsylvania resident was recently acquitted by a jury of possession and manufacture of marijuana.
Mrs. Kelley was charged last year after the police, acting on a tip, discovered seven “well-cultivated” four-foot-tall marijuana plants in her backyard. Mrs. Kelley predictably claimed she didn’t know what the plants were, but from here on her story becomes ridiculously, hilariously far-fetched.
She claims a “bearded stranger in a pointy hat” gave her a handful of seeds, saying they were flower seeds. She simply tossed them into her garden, thinking they might look nice next to her tomato plants. And they grew like crazy. And she still never suspected what they might be, even as they probably dwarfed her other garden plants.
Methinks the lady has read too much Jack and the Beanstalk, and possibly has been smoking a bit too much fresh garden produce as well. Seriously, a stranger in a pointy hat? Please. Also, since when do people just give marijuana seeds to strangers, not worried that the strangers might turn them in, and not insisting on a share of the crop?
And how many even semi-serious gardners just randomly plant unknown seeds, not worrying that the newcomers might not be something they want to grow?
Mrs. Kelley told a local TV station “To me, weeds are just weeds.” How many gardeners allow “weeds” to grow four feet high without question?
My theory is the jury knew she knew better, but let her off because her story was just so silly there was a slim chance she might be telling the truth.

Still and all, I advise all of you: don’t take things from strangers. And that goes double if your stranger is wearing a beard and a pointy hat. And if your name happens to be Jack, whatever you do, do not sell your family’s only cow in exchange for his “flower” seeds.


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